8/13/15

One Year. 365 Days.

A year ago today, I found out our baby's heart wasn't beating anymore.  One year.  365 days.  It's crazy to think that one whole year has gone by.  There are moments when it feels like it literally just happened.  Then there are times when it feels like a life time ago.  I still get caught up in the "what might have beens".   When I see newborn babies, I still have an ache in my heart.

I remember when I found out I was pregnant with #3, I was overwhelmed.  I cried, because how was I going to handle THREE kids?! We would be outnumbered.  Oh did I cry.   How silly I was.  I still have the bump pictures that I had started taking, and I look at them every so often.  In those pictures, in those moments...it's happiness, and I don't want to forget how I felt in those pictures.

Now here I am one year later, and...I'm at a loss.  I think this day will always be hard for me.  I think I'm always going to wonder what life would have been like with our sweet spirit, and wonder why it had to happen.   I will say I do feel more at peace.  I feel more like myself again.  I remember thinking I was never going to get to this point.  I was never going to be okay.  Time does in fact heal.  I don't think I'll ever be the same Jennifer that I was before I had my miscarriage, but I'm healing, and the scar on my heart will always be there....and I'm okay with that.


This is a quote from our Ladies Book Club!!!  Love it!  "So Long to Insecurity" by Beth Moore....Proverbs 31 woman

There's one person that has helped me more than she will ever know.  She sent me these words, and it's my wallpaper on my phone.  Thank you, Nichole.  #amazingfriend  



2 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry, I didn't know about this. :( I'm glad you're starting to heal, but I'm sure it's hard.

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